Am I That Oblivious?
Were you ever blown away by a stranger’s perception of you? I had that happen to me this weekend, and to say that it was a wakeup call would be the ultimate understatement! I felt more like I was emerging from a coma. Everybody knows what’s going on except you, and you have just been jolted into reality.
I spent time thinking about the reaction, especially because it was not a single person, but a group of more than five people.
Misperception or Accurate Diagnosis?
I made a comment in which I thought I was explaining the parameters of a business startup timeline as my way of managing my expectations, and as a guide to encourage me not to give up prematurely on my plan. Especially when I become frustrated so easily.
The response was that I had a negative mindset, and I was giving up before I even started. WOW! I know that I often have trouble communicating, but this was not one person, but several agreeing that I have a negative mindset.
I am not saying these women misjudged me. I can definitely be negative at times, but it is something I have been working to overcome. I am simply shocked that I projected this mindset in a single comment.
Is It That Obvious?
Now I’m wondering, Is this is how most people see me? Do I not recognize that my family deals with my negativity regularly while I am oblivious to the pressure I’m placing on them?
I’ve heard plenty of times that you should limit your exposure to negative people as much as possible. How often am I being crossed off someone’s list as requiring too much energy to deal with or too much of a drag?
Now before you see these women as heartless, let me say that they were there to offer suggestions and advice for business-related issues. These ladies were not familiar friends, but people I just sat down with a few minutes before the comment. Their intent was not to hurt me but to express an honest assessment of what they perceived.
I was responsible. I asked the question that provoked the response. I voluntarily chose to attend this event. I was seeking their expertise. So I am not blaming anyone, not even myself.
For my sake, that was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, because it would have been incredibly difficult for a friend or family member to tell me that. I would have been hurt, and angry, and I would have felt betrayed.
Were they unkind? Only if a doctor cutting out a cancer is considered unkind. Was it painful? Yes. Was it necessary? Yes. Will it bring me to a better life having gone through it? Most certainly. But only if I choose to change and heal.
Oh, and they suggested that I focus on content. So I have chosen my post topics from now until the end of the year.
But I also need some help with improving my mindset. For more about mindset get Carol Dweck’s book Mindset
What resources do you recommend for changing a negative mindset?