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Am I That Oblivious?
Were you ever blown away by a stranger’s perception of you? I had that happen to me this weekend, and to say that it was a wakeup call would be the ultimate understatement! I felt more like I was emerging from a coma. Everybody knows what’s going on except you, and you have just been jolted into reality.
I spent time thinking about the reaction, especially because it was not a single person, but a group of more than five people.
Misperception or Accurate Diagnosis?
I made a comment in which I thought I was explaining the parameters of a business startup timeline as my way of managing my expectations, and as a guide to encourage me not to give up prematurely on my plan. Especially when I become frustrated so easily.
The response was that I had a negative mindset, and I was giving up before I even started. WOW! I know that I often have trouble communicating, but this was not one person, but several agreeing that I have a negative mindset.
I am not saying these women misjudged me. I can definitely be negative at times, but it is something I have been working to overcome. I am simply shocked that I projected this mindset in a single comment.
Is It That Obvious?
Now I’m wondering, Is this is how most people see me? Do I not recognize that my family deals with my negativity regularly while I am oblivious to the pressure I’m placing on them?
I’ve heard plenty of times that you should limit your exposure to negative people as much as possible. How often am I being crossed off someone’s list as requiring too much energy to deal with or too much of a drag?
Too Harsh?
Now before you see these women as heartless, let me say that they were there to offer suggestions and advice for business-related issues. These ladies were not familiar friends, but people I just sat down with a few minutes before the comment. Their intent was not to hurt me but to express an honest assessment of what they perceived.
I was responsible. I asked the question that provoked the response. I voluntarily chose to attend this event. I was seeking their expertise. So I am not blaming anyone, not even myself.
My Reaction
For my sake, that was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, because it would have been incredibly difficult for a friend or family member to tell me that. I would have been hurt, and angry, and I would have felt betrayed.
Were they unkind? Only if a doctor cutting out a cancer is considered unkind. Was it painful? Yes. Was it necessary? Yes. Will it bring me to a better life having gone through it? Most certainly. But only if I choose to change and heal.
The Result
Oh, and they suggested that I focus on content. So I have chosen my post topics from now until the end of the year.
But I also need some help with improving my mindset. For more about mindset get Carol Dweck’s book Mindset
What resources do you recommend for changing a negative mindset?
When I drift into the negativity lane, I usually start to feel the rumble strips of guilt pretty quickly, reminding me of all the blessings I have compared to some. I can’t say this is due to any exercise or action on my part, but perhaps just the holy spirit gently guiding me back on course. Perhaps, pray for a clear awareness when negativity creeps in and set your GPS (GOD’s Perspective System) to “route 48”. (Philippians 4:8)
~Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Thank you for such sound advice! I love the GPS comment! Gratitude is always good for attitude!